


interlude: just look at these dorks, part i

by llwydion



Series: straight faced with misery (sw and pacific rim au) [3]
Category: Pacific Rim (Movies), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: AU, F/M, M/M, Non-Chronological, Pure Crack, and maybe some wholesome content too, social media posts-style fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-04-27
Packaged: 2019-04-28 13:02:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14449824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/llwydion/pseuds/llwydion
Summary: A series of photos, text posts, and videos from various Rangers’ PPDCNet social media pages, compiled on a single master page. Someone has titled it “just look at these dorks”.





	interlude: just look at these dorks, part i

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Snapchats from Coruscant](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8101441) by [criesmom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/criesmom/pseuds/criesmom), [tricksterity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tricksterity/pseuds/tricksterity). 



> not everything has to be pain and loss, for once.
> 
> (I'm actually not sure what type of social media I'm even imagining here, so I made one up. Thank you AUs.)
> 
> account names:  
> @aSkywalker - Anakin  
> @owKenobi - Obi-wan  
> @badassSkywalker - Leia  
> @aSkywalkerJr - Luke  
> @2solo5u - Han  
> @aTano - Ahsoka
> 
> (thanks to anesor for pointing out the fact that these without any reference are a little confusing!)

_A series of photos, text posts, and videos from various Rangers’ PPDCNet social media pages, compiled on a single master page. Someone has titled it “just look at these dorks”._

**i.**

capt solo (@2solo5u):

the day we learned Ranger Anakin Skywalker has a conflated ego @aSkywalker

<Photo: a lone kaiju, downed in the waters near what appears to be the Golden Gate Bridge. Above it, a Jaeger strikes a just-saved-the-day-Superman pose.>

#skywalker #kenobi #tacitdawn #suchDORKS

 

**ii.**

looke skaewilter (@aSkywalkerJr):

han solo, the true fanboy @2solo5u @badassSkywalker

<Video: A TV screen showing old footage of Anakin Skywalker grinning at the camera while his wife Padme waves at the assembled crowd. In the background someone is shrilly screaming non-stop. Someone else is shouting for him to just “shut up please, Han, we get you’re a giant fanboy”. The video is thirty-two seconds long.>

#tinnitus #ftw

 

**iii.**

lil’soka (@ahsokaTano):

someone please tell Yoda that the food he’s cooking isn’t burning anymore, it’s _vaporizing_ @aSkywalker

<Photo: Ahsoka Tano is glaring at the camera, one hand over her nose. Beside her, Anakin’s face is scrunched up as if he’s smelling something bad.>

#he was trying to make tea #how #Marshal Yoda’s cooking failures #part1852625

 

**iv.**

definitely-mace-windu (@aSkywalker):

<Video: the inside of a Conn-Pod, as evidenced by the drivesuits and the bright red lights and warning klaxons that keep going off.

Anakin’s voice, from really close by the mic: “Sometimes I hate the electronic Mark-4s. They’re slow and annoying and _never_ work when you need them to.”

Obi-wan’s voice in the background: “Anakin, get over here and help me get the emergency hatch open already! There’s still a kaiju out there!”>

#timing is KEY #boo obiwan

 

**v.**

looke skaewilter (@aSkywalkerJr):

do you ship them? because I ship them @2solo5u @badassSkywalker

<Video: a rather heated debate between Rangers Kenobi and Skywalker. Both of them are sweaty and their faces are flushed from the amount of shouting they’ve been doing. They’re also staring intently into each other’s eyes.

Luke: “Ten bucks that they’ll need to ‘go somewhere for quiet time’ within the next two minutes.”

Leia: “Fifteen, and make that one.”

Han, screeching: “Wait, _what_?”

The twins snigger in the background while Obi-wan and Anakin continue to stare at each other. The camera switches to Han, who is looking slightly discomfited but also like his wildest dreams have come true.>

#han solo, best fanboy #obikin #go dad!

 

**vi.**

capt solo (@2solo5u):

winner of the get-smacked awards, right here

<Picture: Luke Skywalker lying on the ground, curled into a ball, his hands clutched around his right shin. Anakin is laughing at his son, and Obi-wan is trying hard not to. Besides them, Marshal Yoda stares at the camera with a smirk, holding his twisted gimer stick in his hand.>

#floored

 

**vii.**

the older one (@badassSkywalker):

happy birthday, mom @aSkywalkerJr @aSkywalker

<Video: Luke and Leia are watching an old video of Anakin Skywalker and Padme Nabierre-Skywalker smiling over a cake placed on the table between them. The twins are no more than two years old at best, and they follow Padme’s face with their eyes.

Anakin, quietly whispering in the background: “That’s your mother, kids.”

Obi-wan, equally quietly: “They’re two, Anakin, can they really recognize her?”

Luke, pointing one slightly chubby finger at the screen: “Mama!”>

#the nabierre legacy #we miss you very much #also dad please change your name #ranger windu called #he wants his name back

 

**viii.**

Yoda (@Yoda)

Luminous beings are we

<Picture: The room is dark, and Yoda is wearing about fifty blue glowsticks on him. The sharp glow casts a blue light over him and about two feet of the room around him. He looks like a glowing blue ghost.

Someone else behind him who is much taller is wearing a few more, but in the dark lighting it’s hard to tell who it is.>

 

**ix.**

capt solo (@2solo5u):

lies!!!!

<Video: Han is sitting at a table in the cafeteria, eating something off a plate. Luke slowly walks up to him.

Luke: “Hey, Han! How are you, buddy!”

Han: “Pretty good, kid. Just enjoying this white chocolate I got today. I love the taste of cocoa beans.”

Luke, fighting a smirk: “Well, actually…” (here his voice becomes inaudible to the mic)

Han, screeching: “WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHITE CHOCOLATE ISN’T CHOCOLATE!”

Luke makes calming hand gestures, and Han sits back down. Luke leans back in.

Han, once again: “WHAT DO YOU MEAN PINEAPPLES GROW ON THE GROUND!”>

#i have been lied to #my entire life #thanks chewie

 

**x.**

looke skywalker-kenobi (@aSkywalkerJr):

i can neither confirm nor deny @badassSkywalker @aSkywalker @owKenobi @2solo5u

<Picture: Two pairs of hands, clearly belonging to two different people. One pair is large and has what looks like motor oil stains on it still. The other pair is slimmer but crossed with pale scars, as if their owner had once punched through a large amount of glass.

On the fourth finger of each left hand is a simple metallic band.>

# ;3

 

**xi.**

sorry-mace (@aSkywalker):

actually though sorry mace @owKenobi @maceWindu

<Video: Anakin Skywalker timidly approaching Mace Windu. As soon as Mace spots Anakin, he sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

Mace: “What is it, Skywalker?”

Anakin: “Sorry, Mace. We didn’t mean to be doing that.”

Mace: “Just, please don’t do that again.”

Anakin walks away, still looking contrite. Mace mutters something about brain bleach.>

#whoops #if it helps a lot of alcohol can bleach your brain

 

**xii.**

looke skygwkale-nabrie (@aSkywalkerJr):

i ‘mm sii durnk

<Video: a dimly lit nightclub. Han is nursing a glass of some golden liquid, grimacing every time he takes a sip. Anakin and Obi-wan are in the background, dancing to the heavy bass beat of the music.

Leia is at a nearby table and is currently sipping elegantly out of a thin-stemmed cocktail glass. The table is half-covered in empty glasses, and the bartender is giving her a side-eye as she puts the glass down, empty. She stands and heads straight to the bar where Han is sitting.

Luke, loudly and somewhat slurred: “Best birthday of my life!”

Leia: “I need another drink. I’m not nearly tipsy enough yet.”

Bartender: “Um, miss? I’d just like to make sure we’re not overserving you –”

Leia: “No, I’m fine. Can I get a whiskey on the rocks this time?”

Bartender: “Uh, sure, just one second.”

Han takes another sip of his drink, puts it down on the table, and loudly declares: “I think I’m good!”

He slowly slides down his chair until he melts into a boneless puddle on the floor. The camera shakes and falls.>

 

**xiii.**

tea-please (@owKenobi)

Skywalker women have iron livers. @badassSkywalker @aSkywalker

<Video: Obi-wan and Leia sitting at a table across from each other. Anakin is watching animatedly from the side. Before each of them is a pint of beer.

Anakin: “3, 2, 1, go!”

Their hands dart out and lift the pints to their mouths. Anakin watches, first in glee, then in horror, as both Obi-wan and Leia down the entire pint without stopping. At the end, they slam down the glasses on the table and smirk at each other across the table.

Anakin: “Holy mother of –”>

#so proud to call her my daughter #wipes fake tear #anakin please #its just beer

 

**xiv.**

sister of brie (@badassSkywalker):

it’s a cost benefit thing, my dear @aSkywalkerJr

<Video: Leia slowly opens a bedroom door and presses a finger to her lips. Luke is soundly asleep on the bed. She sneaks towards the blinds before pulling them wide open.

“Good morning, dear brother!”

Luke screeches and falls out of the bed. His hands immediately go to clutch his head, and he continues to make muffled shrieks until he manages to grab a pillow and stuff it over his face.

Leia laughs and leaves while Luke is trying to stuff his pillow into his ears as well.>

#weak #he gets this from dad #i got mom’s genes

 

**xv.**

not-sorry-mace (@aSkywalker):

cost benefit my butt @badassSkywalker

<Video: Obi-wan and Leia are standing quietly outside a bedroom door. They both make shushing motions at the camera before opening and entering.

Much like his son, Anakin is sprawled across the large bed, snoring blissfully away. There is a moment when Obi-wan enters the room where he mumbles an unintelligible phrase and both of them tense, but he scratches his stomach and goes back to sleep.

They reach the curtains. Obi-wan starts a silent countdown on his fingers.

Anakin wails when the sunlight hits his eyes. He breaks off into a long, long stream of curses.>

#pain #betrayal #my daughter and my husband are conspiring against me #pity me

 

**xvi.**

capt solo (@2solo5u):

aaHAAAAAAAH

<(somewhat shaky) Video: There is a large crowd gathered in the cafeteria of the Shatterdome, which has been festooned in white streamers and fake flowers. The camera zooms to the front of the hall, where two people are standing on a dias.

Luke, from off-screen: “Y’know, I think this is the first time I’ve seen Father so nervous.”

Leia, also from off-screen, but shouted: “Calm down Dad, it’s just Obi-wan.”

Anakin, dressed in a nice suit that is a clear leftover from his husband-to-a-senator days: “What do you mean, it’s _just_ Obi-wan? It’s _Obi-wan_!”

Yoda, standing on a stack of chairs, his head barely peeking over the podium: “Good for you, he is. Good for him, you are. Doubt this, you do?”

Anakin: “I – no, never.”

The camera spins around as music starts playing tinnily from the speakers. Obi-wan is making his way through the crowd, also dressed in a sharp suit. He smiles when he sees Anakin, and elbows his way faster through. Anakin looks like he’s been struck by a bolt of lightning.

Yoda: “Gathered, we are today, to celebrate the joining of two individuals.”

Luke, in the background: “So how many of the crowd do you think actually understand what the Marshal’s saying?”>

#tbt #best moment of my LIFE #i ship them so much

**Author's Note:**

> (more to come, and soon!)


End file.
